I have always preferred a book to a risk.  I have never liked to be on stage.  I have never dreamt of being a star.  But I married a peacock and I shrunk, and I cried and I felt so, so, so, small and when he found another I remember seeing a picture of them - We didn't take one picture together during our entire marriage.  -And she had no more business being in front of a camera than I did.    I realized that I have been so afraid to live and to lose and so I have decided to start living - NOW.  (Oh, I had my moments when the books just wouldn't cut it and I had to have an adventure but with the birth of my twins and all of responsibility that their birth entailed that part of me started to die...)

I mean to do something daily to begin to live again.  So far I have been living through the lives and imagined lives of others through books.  ... Ahhhh, but what to do without funding, money, duckets and the like...